I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
