You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
