Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
