Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize