who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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