so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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