you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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