dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
