I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
