is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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