Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
