okay pat passed out under dana's car
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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