You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
