can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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