My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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