So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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