Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
