I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
