I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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