whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
