I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
