Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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