I cannot find my penis.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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