I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's official drugs can't kill me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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