i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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