I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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