what day is it and did you see me today?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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