OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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