Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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