That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Randomize
