I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
