...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm drive I can fine osifer
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
