i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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