It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
