So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
