I think im going to throw up on grandma
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
