Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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