just tell him i said nine months
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
