He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
