I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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