I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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