he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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