i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
