no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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