Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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