i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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