Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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