My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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