Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
