I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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