thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
