I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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