Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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