I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
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I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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