Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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