What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
