DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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