Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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