Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
