i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
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I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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