Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
