I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
