I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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