Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
