just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
