My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
