I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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