before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
